Church of Secular Coffee | Melbourne

With a name like Church of Secular Coffee, one’s expectations can be raised quite high – of which, ours were. We make a special trip into the CBD to taste this self-proclaimed ‘church’ of coffee before it’s little make-shift self disappears.

We arrive and there’s sparsely anyone there. Then within moments of us trying to read the menu, a long line built up of people frothing at the mouth -so hubby bear put his armor on and joined the crowd. As I watched him progress, he finally met up with the coffee-order-taker-person who’s standing in the queue pre-marking take-away cups for orders.

“One flat-white please”

And he’s off again. After a few minutes ticked over, his coffee was delivered and we’re giddy to try….

But, not overly impressed
<enter sad face here>

Maybe it’s because we ordered a flat white and that messed it up?

Maybe it was the barista’s first/last day on the job?

Maybe it was because it was in a paper cup, and paper cups aren’t known for making things taste good?

Or, maybe, maybe, maybe…it just wasn’t that good?

To us, it tasted like ‘for-the-masses’ standard coffee – granted it was a very good standard coffee – but had no discernible aroma, flavour or notes! We asked our friend to take a sip too, just in case we were totally off; so she sipped and said:  “Tastes like a normal coffee to me.


In all honesty, Miss Marie’s coffee in Rosanna trumps this coffee by a mile. Even as a flat white. Even in a paper cup.  But in saying all this, it’s hard to make a final call from one trip alone, so hope your trek there proves more rewarding than ours!

Flavour:  ★★ 

Quality:  ★★★★

Service:  ★★★☆☆
Value:    ★★★ ✔

Church of Secular Coffee on Urbanspoon

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twobearsandafork Written by:

The Two Bears are a fun-loving married couple of more years than we care to share, ha! Our travels allow Wifey Bear (a vegetarian) and Hubby bear (a carnivore) the opportunity to explore the mysteries of this amazing planet while trying out new & exciting food! #biglove

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